Hey guys. I have had so many guys tell me that they are afraid of getting rejected. Let’s talk about this. Rejection is not something to fear, because you never really do get rejected. What happens is, you don’t hear back from a girl, and then you start to mentally project rejection. Trust me, there are a ton of reason why a girl might not respond to your message. She might not check her dating profile (it happens). She might have started dating someone. She might have lost her job and isn’t in the mood. Whatever it is – there are tons of reasons!
Fear of rejection is really an excuse. A bad one at that. So don’t worry next time. Go for it, and forget about it. Move on with your day. If a girl doesn’t respond, who cares? There are plenty more dates out there, waiting for you!
Here’s a quick tip to boost your dating profile: keep your camera or iphone with you (OK, obviously your iphone will be with you). Take pictures whenever something happens out of the ordinary in your life. Then use the best ones on your online dating profile.
If you’re alone, you can give the camera to a stranger and ask them to take a picture of you. That way you don’t miss opportunities to get more ammunition for attracting women online.
It seems like common sense, but most guys don’t look at girls’ profiles before sending a message. They just send a quick message about the photos they like. Hey, it’s great to like the photos. That may even be all you care about. But if SHE thinks that, chances are she won’t be interested.
Take a few minutes to scan the profile. Find something she has in common with you. Then, follow the tricks in the Online Dating Bible. Find it here: http://www.dateperday.com/bible.html
Here’s a thought. Instead of just hoping something works, and throwing it out there… why not try something new, and make a mental note of the results.
Try sending a message with a compliment. Next time, try sending a message without a compliment. Next time, try sending a message with an insult. OK that last one probably isn’t a good idea.
But you get the picture. Try different things to see what works. Eventually you’ll have a lot of experience with online dating, and dating in general.
When it comes to women, the more experience you have, the better. The biggest problem is fear. Don’t be afraid to try sending all kinds of messages to see what works.
Fear is one of the biggest problems my clients often face. When a dating coach client asks, “What do I do when…” I tell them to just try the first thing that comes to their mind. Unless they get used to thinking on their own, they’ll never make it in the real world of dating.
It might be a cliche, but positivity is attractive. When writing your profile, focus on the positives about your life. Don’t mention things you don’t like (movies, TV shows, etc). Stick to the things you DO like. Being negative makes you sound like an annoying teenager, and nobody wants to go out with a Debbie Downer. Stick to the positive traits on your dating profile. Trust me, positivity works.
What’s up dateperday users? I have one quick thing to say today. (It’s been a while since I’ve been on).
Don’t be the judge of your own profile photo. Don’t trust yourself! I know that might sound harsh, but too many people are terrible judges of their own photos. You might have an inflated sense of yourself, or maybe you think a photo looks great, when other people disagree.
So, a solution… get a friend to look at it! Or get me to look at it, for under $17.
I see people take online dating very seriously and I don’t get it. Yes, dating and relationships are an important part of life. But that doesn’t mean it is something you have to take very seriously. In fact, you can have a lot of fun with it and you should have some sense of humor about it.
Here is what I mean. Many people write dating profiles designed to keep people out. They talk a lot about what they DON’T want in a date. Now if I’m reading that, it makes me a little intimidated. Would you want to feel judged right from the start? Yet people do this, unaware of how it makes them seem. It usually makes them seem touchy from a past relationship. You don’t want to appear that way, do you?
Attitude is everything. If you write an online dating profile that is fun and funny, people will be more likely to want to find out more about you. And you’ll probably have more fun yourself.
OK, so I’m often asked what to use for a headline on dating profiles. The answer is: IT DEPENDS.
But seriously – some people take this way too seriously. The headline is not that big of a deal. There are three rules for headlines:
1) They should be unique
2) They should capture attention
3) They should NEVER convey desperation!
Think about it as if you were a marketer. If you write a headline, your goal is to get a person to keep reading. Right? The same goes for online dating. You want to intrigue the reader so they open the page and read the profile. To do this the headline needs to stand out, so it should be unique. It also needs to capture attention, so it has to make the person interested. That can be accomplished with humor, cleverness, or just plain randomness. Any of these are better than the standard headlines -which brings me to rule #3.
Most headlines say something like:
“Looking for the one”
“Seeking the right gal”
These are terrible because they convey total and utter desperation! They also show NO ORIGINALITY. These headlines and those like it severely hurt your ability to get noticed on dating sites. Just changing this one aspect will help a lot.
The price is now just $19!
Purchase here: www.dateperday.com/bible.html
I want to talk about something that is important but usually overlooked. People love to talk about themselves. But here is the problem. Nobody else wants to hear you talk about yourself. This is true in real life, and it is true in online dating. In your dating profile, do you describe yourself for more than one paragraph? If so, you are breaking the first rule of online dating. Don’t TALK ABOUT yourself.
I know, I know. The profile says ‘About Me’. But just as in real life, when you talk about yourself, you come off as BORING.
Some things to look for in your profile:
-Do you make generalizations about yourself? (I like to travel, I like to have fun, etc)
These are cliches. Too many guys write them so you don’t stand out. It’s crucial to stand out from other people – so use specifics.
-Do you analyze yourself?
People don’t want to hear you blab about yourself and your past relationships. Remove anything that is personal.
-Do you mention anything negative?
Negativity is unattractive. Anything negative about yourself will sink your entire profile. Even you’re trying to be funny, saying something negative makes you seem down on yourself. Highlight your good qualities, don’t dwell on bad ones.